And this time, I won't be back for six months. I try not to think about it, and I suppose that will be the only way I can get over it all. The thing is, don't think of how long it will take to get there, just do it.

These holidays have been great. I spent the last three weeks studying maths, going over old topics and revising with a tutor. Met with dad at least 4 or 5 times throughout the two months, and many more times with my cousins, Ji-Shen and Ji-Han. Caught up with all my homies, Su-Yi, Ew-Jun, Shaz, Nurie... Watched a total of 3 movies with friends. Celebrated one fscking awesome 18th birthday. Shopped till I dropped. Spent all my pocket money from December on Christmas presents. Managed to let my History Extension proposal (due next Wednesday, the 7th) slip away incompleted. Learned how to sing and play the guitar at the same time. Brushed up my skills on Singstar with Nurie, Ri and not to forget Ivan Chee xD. It was all great. Of course, it was definately short-lived. But then again, every holiday will be the same. Six weeks. 3 weeks. 2 weeks. They're all inevitably the same. You just have to make the best out of every single day.

I think I've got everything pretty much packed up. I'd run through all the categories (yes, I categorise what I pack) and ticked them off. Some I haven't completed yet, because I'm still using them (eg. Catch, clothes, toilettries). Otherwise, I'm pretty good to go.

Sigh. As usual, part of me wants to stay, and the other wants to go. I'm only one year away from completing my school career, and off I am to University. It gets closer and closer within my reach as the days go by, and each time I feel it, I want it more. And the more I want it, the more I want to stick my head in the storm and fight it like there's no tomorrow. I've been having so many doubts about whether I will do all the things I imagine myself doing - like studying at the school library after school till 5pm at least 3 times a week; going to the State Library more often to study on the weekends; going to the gym every Sunday morning; going to bed at 10.30pm every night; putting in at least 3-4 hours of study/homework every weekday. I wonder if what I say and boast about will ever be true, and it pulls me down sometimes to imagine myself not doing them. Last year was bullocks. I told myself I was going to study harder, lose weight and etc - I didn't, really. Not as well as I thought I could've done.

So this year, I really want to do it. I really want in. I'm going to counter-attack all the negative thoughts about "not making it" or "just a dream", because it will all happen. My target UAI of 90 will happen. Keeping fit while maintaining a well-balanced lifestyle will happen. Oh, it will.

I really better get some sleep now. When I arrive in Sydney, it'll be one fscking mad rush to the boarding house and getting everything in place before jumping into bed. For now, let's pray that 3 hours of sleep will keep me through most of the day spent on the plane.

See you on the other side,
Cheers...
to MSN, to Youtube, to btorrenting, to my queen sized bed, to cheap things/food/everything, to cable telly, to my own bathroom, to my PS2, to my lovely dog Pi, to Frank, to home. :(((((((((((((((((